Evolving from a three-step reactive process to a four-step conscious process.
Today, we’ll talk about the difference between REACTIVITY and CONSCIOUS CHOICE.
Why is it Hard to Control Emotions? – Old Programming!
Really, this is the EVOLUTION of your emotional programming and processing. What this is going to do is inject a GIGANTIC dose of personal power into your life.
Honestly, you can’t succeed without these tools. Without this understanding you will never be at the level of TRUE success that you desire because you will always be at the whim of your circumstances. You will always be at the whim of other people’s opinions. When life’s flow is up, you are going to be up. When it’s down, you are going to be way down.
All those things are results of OLD programming and basic wiring.
Here is how it works. When we are children, we have a certain level of cognitive ability. If you are three years old and you want a cookie, you reach for the cookie. Your parent says you can’t have the cookie. That basically explodes our brain.
We want the cookie, but we can’t have the cookie. We don’t really quite know how to deal with the feeling of wanting something and not being able to have it. It’s still a very confronting feeling for us and we do not yet have the COGNITIVE development to be in a logical state.
We could not understand that maybe a cookie is not best for our nutrition at this moment. We do not understand that level of thinking.
What happens is that there is an immediate REACTION. You want a cookie, you can’t have it so you EXPLODE in emotion.
So, it’s a reactive three-step process. There is a stimulus. The stimulus sparks an emotion and the emotion sparks a reaction.
Stimulus – I want cookie, but can’t have it.
Emotion – Sadness, Anger and Frustration, etc.
Reaction –Crying, Screaming, etc.
That’s how most of us CONTINUE to operate for the entirety of our lives…
But that will keep you small and unsuccessful for your ENTIRE life. Whether it’s in health, wealth, relationships, spirituality, it does not matter what success looks like to you.
If you are emotionally REACTIVE to the world, you will lose. Period!
Think about it. Most of the world is NEGATIVE. Most people are operating in a very negative place. They are going to make sure that they let you know about why everything you are doing probably WON’T work. They are going to make sure to let you know about why your clothes are NOT the coolest, why you do not look as hot as you could be, why you are destined for FAILURE, etc.
All those things are going to cause you emotional reactions if you do not understand the conscious next level of this process. That’s the reactive model of emotional processing.
How to Control Emotion? – Get to the Next Level!
The next level is a conscious processing of emotions. It has an additional step. It’s not terribly difficult. It is only ONE more step, but it takes a CONSCIOUS effort to get there.
Here is the process: Stimulus sparks Emotion, sparks Exploration, sparks Choice.
Instead of stimulus-emotion-reaction, you have stimulus-emotion-exploration-choice.
Now, choices are always empowered. Choices are powerful. Choices are made with consciousness in a way that brings you FOWARD in life regardless if it’s a hard choice, a negative situation or a positive situation. It doesn’t matter.
When you are making a choice, you are ALWAYS moving forward.
When you are reacting, maybe sometimes it works out well for you, most of the time it does not. Reactions are almost entirely out of ego. Choices are almost entirely out of consciousness. That is where we want to be playing.
For this video, I want you to understand this new process. In the next video, I will give you the TECHNIQUE for that third new step called exploration.
Right now, I could just give you an example. Imagine somebody came up to me and said “Hey man, you are such a jerk! I slept with your mom, I hate you and I want to fight you.”
If I was at the whim of my emotions, I might say: “Hey, F*** you!” and throw a punch.
That would be emotion (anger, frustration, rage) sparking a reaction (violence). That’s the egoic structure of processing emotions.
Now, in this four-step process, it looks a little different. He comes up to me and says all those things. I still feel the emotion (anger, rage, etc.).
BUT then, I go on an exploration. I think: “Well, that’s an emotion. What is it? This is anger. This is rage. Yes, I really didn’t like those comments. That was pretty disrespectful.”
I get to witness those emotions. I get to EXPLORE them. Then, I get to make a CONSCIOUS choice. I can still punch him in the face if I want to, but it’s a choice. It is NOT a reaction.
Because I am not a violent person and that is not who I am, I most likely would just feel bad for the guy for living inside such a negative world and such a small box. I would let him know that I am glad he has his opinions, but he can keep them to himself.
I won’t punch him in the face or scream back at him or waste any of my personal energy on ANY of his negative agenda. I am here to succeed and get everything I want in my life. Dealing with his garbage has NOTHING to do with that. That’s the conscious choice.
Now, am I telling you that this means you need to be lame, a push-over or a wimp? Absolutely, not!
If somebody is attacking you, defend yourself. If somebody is VERBALLY attacking you, that’s their business. It is not any of your business what they think of you. Does that have anything to do with your life success? No!
In this four-step process, you gain POWER. You gain the ability to CHOOSE where your energy goes. That is the primary benefit of it.
Don’t forget to watch the third and last video of this mini-series Mastering Your Emotions Part 3: Releasing Negative Human Emotions
I’ll give you one of the most POWERFUL techniques I have ever learned in self-development. It will give you control over your emotions and a REALLY deep understanding of that third step – the process of EXPLORING your emotions.
That is the main advice from today! Please, if you have any questions or comments, join the conversation and comment below. I personally respond to every comment possible and would love to hear from you!
Also, please like the video on YouTube, subscribe to my channel, and if you think this advice could help somebody, share it on Facebook!
Lastly, don’t forget to watch the third and final video of this mini-series: Mastering Your Emotions Part 3: Releasing Negative Human Emotions
Thanks and talk soon!
To Your Success,