Today, we are going to be talking about how to date and how to avoid the BIGGEST mistake that people make while dating.
Date Successfully – Do Not Force It!
From years of experience in coaching people in dating, confidence, and relationships I can tell you that the biggest mistake in dating is people try to do relationships. They try to make them happen. They try to CREATE them like a project.
This was something that I wrote down to give as an advice as my own lesson. In my own most recent relationship, as it was first starting out, I recognized this tendency in MYSELF.
It was something that would ultimately undermine the creation of an empowering, mutually beneficial relationship if I had kept down the path and kept going with this tendency. So, I want to bring it out to all of you so that you can have more love in your life, more connection, and more AWESOME dating.
What do I mean by the tendency to DO relationships?
When you first start seeing that you ALIGN with somebody, that you might want it to go further, or that you see them possibly being in your life in a long-term fashion, you start to exit the moment.
You start to exit reality and you start to step into your head where you are like:
“How can I make them like me for the long-term? How can I start this relationship? How can I change them in this way? They would be perfect if I change them only in this way. How can I do this? How can I do that?”
It’s easy at first to fall into optimism, but then you start to do the relationship like it’s a little project. You tinker on it. You start to leave the authenticity of the moment, of REAL connection, of simply being in the relationship. And, you start doing the relationship. You start working on it like it’s some PROJECT.
This is from both sides. Men and women are guilty of this.
This will SABOTAGE a relationship. It takes you out of the authenticity. It takes you out of life’s flow. It takes you out of your heart center and it puts you up in your head. It’s toxic for the creation of a really loving and joyous relationship.
What will tend to happen is that people see enough qualities in the other person they enjoy. So, they leave their heart. They go up into their head and they start calculating and evaluating.
By having this awareness, you can commit to being in a relationship, to showing up with no expectations, to showing up only as your TRUE self.
That’s your ONLY commitment: to allow the universe to decide if this relationship is going to unfold for the long-term or if it will only be something that’s going to be great for a month, or whatever the case may be.
By showing up as your AUTHENTIC self, you are allowing that relationship to develop instead of resisting that relationship by trying to do it by showing up inauthentically.
The other aspect of how this will serve is that the first time you met, the first couple of dates that you had, most likely you WERE showing up as yourself. You were just being and allowing.
It’s not until you got this attachment to:
“Oh, maybe this is the person. Maybe, this is the one. Maybe, I’ve been waiting for this person. How can I do this? How can I make sure that this works out?”
It wasn’t until you let that spark, until you developed that attachment to it working out, that desire for it to work out, that you left your authenticity and your truth.
So now, you are no longer the attractive and authentic person they first met. You are now this OTHER person who is trying to do things which can come across as manipulative, inauthentic, strange, or whatever the case may be. You’re now trying to do things. You are not the same person.
As relationships are EVOLVING and developing, make sure to keep your primary relationship and focus on YOURSELF, on developing yourself, on staying true to yourself. The rest will flow NATURALLY.
The biggest mistake in dating is to DO it – to do, do, do. I’m telling you to just be. Relax and allow. I guarantee this will remove your resistances to your ideal relationship. This will allow for it to manifest and develop.
I hope that helps you.
If you see a way in which you are guilty of doing your relationships in the past, I would love for you to write it down below this video. Release it! Release it off to the universe by acknowledging, sharing, and bringing awareness to it so that this pattern is now released out of you. And so that others can benefit and read that comment and see ways that they might be guilty or be doing the same types of things that sabotage them.
Please share below. Please like the video if you like it. Subscribe to my channel. Check me out on Facebook.
Lastly, if you would need some personal Coaching on the matter or in any other area of your life, don’t hesitate to contact me through my page.
I hope you have some awesome dates this week.
Thanks and talk soon!
To Your Success,