Today, we’re going to be talking about how to make a relationship POWERFUL.
I am REALLY excited to share this information with you because these cool quick tips are pretty easy to implement, very easy to understand, and if everybody had these understandings and structures inside their relationships, there would be a whole LOT more love out in the world.
So, I hope that these tips resonate with you. I hope you enjoy them. I hope that you take and implement them into your own relationships.
This is all about how to make your relationship powerful. As in, how to step into a new relationship inside your power, as well as how to set up that relationship for success.
A Relationship With Yourself First
The first thing you have to know, is that when you are first cultivating a new relationship, you need to make sure to maintain your relationship with yourself.
You can’t get lost in your new and exciting love, even though it’s very easy to do.
This is a common problem. What happens is we give too much of ourselves, lose our identity, and lose the person who our potential love or long-time partner was initially interested in.
A lot of people, when they enter into a new relationship, they are doing all these GREAT things in their lives.
But then, they stop caring so much about all of them so that they can fully commit to the relationship. That’s shooting yourself in the foot. It puts an unnecessary amount of pressure on your new relationship and partner. Overall, it’s a VERY common toxic behavior.
So, the first tip is to maintain your relationship with yourself.
Keep developing yourself. Keep your interest at heart. Keep moving forward in your life and enjoy sharing that and your mutual growth with your partner.
That brings me to tip number two, which is that you want to co-create your intentions inside of the relationship.
Now, this is how two powerful individuals come together to create something even GREATER than their own individual lives. It’s by maintaining their relationship with themselves, but then co-creating something together that is on a whole new level.
Having an Open Line for Communication
The way you do that is simply by having a conversation. What is my intention for entering into this relationship? How do I want to positively impact your life and how would I like to see you positively impact my life?
Relationships are not only about getting the snuggles that we want or, having someone to help us with our chores or, someone to help us through our problems. It’s about having a real stand for you in the world outside of yourself.
It’s for having another person who stands for your GREATNESS, who aligns with your vision of your potential future and everything that you want to achieve in your own life. You are that for that person as well.
This initial conversation and, quite literally, should be:
“I intend to go into a relationship with you and to co-create an amazing future.”
Then, you set up what that looks like. How can we support each other?
Once you do that by maintaining your relationship with yourself, you are clear on what it is that you want, where your path is going, and how this person can support you.
It all comes from your relationship with yourself being developed FIRST. Now, you are co-creating and coming together with these clear personal intentions to say:
“This is how we can support each other for even greater success”.
Then that brings my third relationship advice, which is now that you have entered into the relationship, you need to learn how that person receives love.
There is a book called “The Five Love Languages”. I’m not sure of the title, but it breaks it down to a very simple way to understand.
There is essentially five different ways that people receive love inside a relationship. Everybody is different and most people have one primary way and a secondary important way as well.
So, the five ways, to make a quick list for you is:
Acts of service – having things done for you
Physical touch – the physical intimacy
Quality time – spending time together
Words of affirmation – getting affirmed that you are doing good things in the world, or that you are achieving what you want, or that you are a great person (whatever it may be)
Gifts – receiving and giving gifts
Those are the five ways that people receive love.
The third tip that I have for you is that you need to understand, discuss, and dialogue with your new relationship and find out what that is. What does that look like? How do they receive love?
You need to also communicate how YOU receive love. In that way, you will both understand how to cultivate a powerful relationship together.
Now, the last tip I want to share with you today is that you want to set up guidelines for communication. This is the fourth tip and really INCREDIBLY important to do.
I will give you this advice by sharing an example of how I do it in my own personal relationship.
We have what we call clearing conversations. You see, large arguments tend to stem from lots and LOTS of little tiny things that go unexpressed. Then, they cultivate into a GIANT thing that comes out as this huge argument. That’s how fights happen.
But if you cultivate a communication inside your relationship where everything is one hundred percent open and encouraged to be discussed, then those little tiny things do not build up.
You don’t end up with resentment for your partner and end up with in these large egoic arguments.
In my personal relationship, I have deemed it clearing conversations. It’s very important that you get the language that works for you because when my partner and I have anything on our minds that we would like to share, anything that rubbed us the wrong way even the SLIGHTEST little bit, or anything that we feel that we need to express, we say:
“I would like to have a clearing conversation. Are you in a space for that?”
That gives the other person an opportunity to say:
“No, I am actually really busy with something right now. But, I would love to in a little bit.”
Or, to say:
“Yes, I can be present for that kind of conversation.”
That’s REALLY important because you set the framework right there.
The other thing that is important about the languaging is that when we say we are having a clearing conversation, it’s understood that it is all underneath an umbrella.
“These things are being brought up and discussed so that we can stay inside of love. We are removing the little smudges that would eventually if unexpressed end up coming into a giant argument. We are allowing them to be expressed and communicated inside of this clearing conversation so that we can return to pure, unblemished love”.
So, now when you are having this clearing conversation, because you know that languaging and you know that pretext or context, your partner will not feel attacked as you share whatever you are sharing.
They understand that it’s all underneath the desire for a clear, communicated, and expressed relationship.
To break it on down for you, four quick tips that I would use to create a very powerful relationship are:
1. Maintain your relationship with yourself.
2. Have a conversation to co-create the relationship together.
3. Learn how your partner receives love.
4. Create a conversational context for empowering the communication inside your relationship.
That’s my advice for you today. I hope that some of those tips resonate with you, if not all of them. I encourage you to implement them with your current relationship or look to implement them in your next relationship. I hope that it has been helpful.
As always guys, please, I encourage you to like the video if you like it. It helps more people see it. Please comment below. Share with me some of your relationship questions. I will answer them right for you right below the video.
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Thanks and talk soon!
To Your Success,